While the connection between mentoring youth and human trafficking prevention may not always be the most obvious, we strongly believe we can change the culture by going upstream and reaching youth before they are ever approached by someone who would exploit them. The Church has a tremendous opportunity to build relationships, teach wisdom, and demonstrate the love of Jesus to youth who may not be experiencing that love at home or who face other obstacles in life that put them in harm’s way for trafficking.
For many youth, however, it takes time to build trust and show a different path than they believe they are destined for. The best we can do, week after week, is to equip our volunteers to plant seeds of hope and love that we watch grow slowly with time. Grace’s story is one such example of small seeds maturing into a story that is not yet complete, but is full of God’s abundance and ability to use normal people to change a life just by showing up. The following is a compilation of stories from our volunteer mentors and staff that demonstrate just how much we are starting to see the effects of these seeds in Grace’s life.
*Some of the identifying details of this story, including Grace’s name, have been changed.
Grace was the first girl to come to our spring Design Studio kickoff in 2018. She recruited several of her friends and now we have a full house on Wednesdays. Grace mostly lives with her elderly aunt and uncle because her dad is not in her life and her mom goes back and forth between living on the streets and in jail. Her aunt and uncle love her and encourage her to be faithful about coming to the Design Studio because “these people care about you.”
In the time since Grace joined us, we have seen much change and growth. She has gone through some tough life events such as losing friends to accidents and suicide. She is loyal to her friends and family and worries about them. While Grace loves her mom, she is understandably angry over her poor choices. She told us that her mom wasn’t going to change until she really wanted to.
Finding Freedom at Echo Ranch
Recently a few of our amazing volunteers have been taking Grace to visit a ranch for rescued horses. She has been getting private riding lessons on a regular basis. Her instructor Dorine set a goal that if Grace could reach a level where she could be fully trusted to follow directions, she could go on a trail ride at a state park. We were all thrilled when she was able to reach this goal! The time Grace spends in the car riding to and from the ranch are also valuable for building relationships with the mentors. She gets one-on-one time with them and usually convinces them to stop for a treat on the way.
According to Dorine, “When I first met Grace, she seemed more interested in showing off for her friends while riding the horses and seeing how much she could get away with before I would need to step in and correct her. It was a challenge because I could see how much she liked being around the horses and how comfortable she was but I also needed her to be fair and gentle with them.
After several times with her, I knew I needed to change my approach. So after praying I asked her if she enjoyed the horses and wanted to continue working with them and learn more about the appropriate way to ride…she said YES! So I said, “Then I need you to listen to my instruction and practice what I teach you. How about if we set a goal to go on a trail ride at McIver State Park? We’ll plan our trip when you show me that you are serious.”
Grace’s state park trail ride
Dorine (right) working with Design Studio attendees at Echo Ranch
A Design Studio attendee just horsing around at Echo Ranch 🙂
There is a lot to be learned from our animal friends!
Special trips to Echo Ranch are one of the highlights of the year for Design Studio attendees.
That’s when I saw a complete change in her. She was humble and willing to listen and learn…trying hard to follow my instructions and seeing the results with her horse. It wasn’t long before we were ready to set a date for our trail ride.
She knows I believe in her and wasn’t willing to give up…even when it was hard. I’ve seen her confidence grow and her ability to handle the horses appropriately improve immensely. I love the relationship that I now have with Grace. Instead of her coming to Echo Ranch with a bit of a chip on her shoulder, now she comes and gives me a big hug and at the end of our time, she always thanks me.”
Related Story: Stepping Upstream to Fight Human Trafficking
Building Mutual Trust and Friendship
Grace’s other mentors have also seen the positive effects of Echo Ranch on her life, in addition to the change in her that they have seen at the Design Studio each week. According to Grace’s mentor Amber, “I think Grace’s experiences at Echo Ranch have been very helpful. It has given her one-on-one time that she craves and needs. It has given her a sense of purpose and something exciting to look forward to that won’t get her in trouble.
“She knows I believe in her and wasn’t willing to give up…even when it was hard. I love the relationship that I now have with Grace. Instead of her coming to Echo Ranch with a bit of a chip on her shoulder, now she comes and gives me a big hug and at the end of our time, she always thanks me.”
Over the years I have noticed that Grace is expressing her emotions more positively. There are still some outbursts or poor behavior at times but it is not as frequent or as intense. Most of the time she lets us know how she is feeling or why she may be feeling sad or angry when she is at the Design Studio and talks about the emotions without yelling or screaming. She also lets us know when something good is going on. We know she wants us involved in her life because she keeps us up to date and informed. You can tell there is a trust she has for us, though if she heard that she would just roll her eyes. She has to keep up the image that she does not need to have us around and is doing us a service by showing up!
During the summer of 2018 Grace kept bragging about how much school she missed the previous school year. Week after week of hearing how much school she was going to try to miss again, I struck up a deal with her. For every week that she did not miss a class outside of a family situation or doctor’s appointment I would bring her a treat. The first week of school I almost did not bring anything because I was thinking she would have forgotten or decided to skip anyway. I grabbed something at the last moment, just in case.
She comes walking up to me that Wednesday and says “Did you bring it? Did you bring me my treat?” I asked, “Did you really attend all your classes?” She said yes with a big smile on her face. I handed her the treat, we kind of looked at it and each other and it was “challenge accepted” from then on.
Each week she would let me know she attended each of her classes and I always had a pop, bag of chips, or a candy bar for her. I can only remember one week she did not get a treat because she got expelled for a few days for hitting a student because she was standing up for another student.
We talked it over and both agreed that she should not have the treat because she could have handled it a different way, but I thanked her for looking out for a fellow student. She got to the end of the year with the most school attendance that she had in one year in a long time. She has kept up on her lessons and has been doing better in a different school setting this year without any treats required. I will never forget that moment of the first day where we gained a mutual respect for each other by following through.
The most interesting part of mentoring Grace is that she is a girl who would have terrified me at her age with all of her anger and trying to be tough, but I can see as an adult that it is all an act. She has taught me to look past people when they are awful to you and try to figure out what is going on underneath, to see what hidden hurts are coming out in mixed up emotions.
She has taught me how to have more patience with everyone I come across. Somehow in my trying to be a mentor to someone I really don’t understand, she has actually taught me so much more. In all of this she trusts me and I trust her and we have a mutual respect for each other.”
Related Story: A Look Inside the “Confidence Game”
Change Comes Softly
Another of Grace’s mentors, Mirren, has also been touched by Grace’s transformation throughout this year:
“I have definitely seen a change in Grace over the one year that I have known her. While she was struggling with being disruptive and occasionally rebellious (at the Design Studio and outside of it), she is now incredibly helpful and has expressed of her own volition that she knows she has changed for the better. In my opinion, she is now one of the more mature girls in the group and I have overheard her trying to encourage and motivate the other girls towards speaking kindly and being sensitive to others.
“[Grace] has taught me to look past people when they are awful to you and try to figure out what is going on underneath, to see what hidden hurts are coming out in mixed up emotions. She has taught me how to have more patience with everyone I come across. Somehow in my trying to be a mentor to someone I really don’t understand, she has actually taught me so much more.”
I was able to visit Echo Ranch with her and some other girls this past summer where I saw her interact with the horses. From what I could tell, it has been a really helpful experience for her to be able to “be an expert” in something. She exhibited a lot of confidence in this environment since she felt comfortable and competent. It was yet another outlet for her to share her knowledge with the other girls.
Mirren (right) with a Design Studio attendee
One of my favorite memories of being with Grace was when we were doing a craft that I was leading on a Wednesday night. There were a few of us girls that evening and we were making poster collages using scraps from magazines. While the rest of the girls and I were cutting out and pasting magazine clippings to our posters, Grace decided that she would rather write encouraging phrases and comments on her poster to display in the Design Studio. She came up with most of these phrases on her own and I remember feeling so proud of her for being creative and for consciously seeking to love others through her words.
Getting to see the transformation of Grace’s character over time has been the biggest encouragement. I remember really struggling to be able to connect with her at first simply because of how rowdy she was. She went through some really challenging things over the past year and she could have very easily not recovered after these trials, but instead, she exhibited strength and determination by choosing to let trials change her for the better.
While I know she will experience many more challenges as she grows up (as any of us do), I have so much confidence in her ability to persevere, change, and turn her pain into something beautiful. I am grateful for her heart for others and for her humor in the midst of trial. She is a blessing and an encouragement to me personally.
Related Story: The Mentor Crisis
Her Journey Continues
According to Rachel Murfitt, Compassion Connect’s Design Studio Coordinator, “A couple months ago, Grace acted out strongly at home and ended up going to a residential treatment center for a while. She is still part of their day program and the extra support seems to really be helping her. We sometimes still have conflict with Grace at the Design Studio when she doesn’t get her way, but she has matured tremendously.
“Getting to see the transformation of Grace’s character over time has been the biggest encouragement. She went through some really challenging things over the past year and she could have very easily not recovered after these trials, but instead, she exhibited strength and determination by choosing to let trials change her for the better.”
She is fully aware that her mentors here love her. She is very quick to pick up on other girls’ sadness and to comfort them. She loves to tease us and act sassy. We often tell her that she is a natural leader and gifted at influencing people to do what she wants them to! (Future lobbyist? Salesperson?) She struggles in school, but is bright, insightful and empathetic.
Grace is at a crossroads in her life. She could easily take the path of least resistance and end up on a similar path as her mother. Our hope and prayer is that she continues to struggle through all the hardships in her life and to be an overcomer. She has already come so far despite having the deck stacked against her. We want to continue to support and love her and to be a continual reminder of God’s love for her, as well.”
*If you are interested in getting involved in our human trafficking prevention work in some way, we invite you to learn more on our volunteer page here. We have several mentoring groups (Design Studios) in Oregon, Washington, and Arizona for both young men and women and are always seeking out passionate people who want to volunteer to pour into their lives, whether on a weekly or less frequent basis.
