“The world’s law of human nature: There is absolutely, indisputably, no way you will be successful unless you are noticed, accepted, admired, complimented, pursued, and esteemed.”
So writes Kimberly Davidson, author, counselor and trauma/relationship specialist. It’s true- this “law” governs much of the life in our world – even, dare we say it, in our churches. It is in the air we breathe, the ads in our face, the music always in our ears.
And it is this law that traffickers know how to exploit.
“Confidence” Artists
The more vulnerable we are, the more we crave this success and confidence that comes from the world. As Davidson states, “Pimps and traffickers are con artists. The word “con” comes from the word “confidence.” To them, it’s a “confidence game…about our need to believe and to hope. Belief I can live “the good life;” hope that I’ll be happier, richer, healthier, loved, accepted, prettier, smarter (a deeper more fulfilled human being).”
“The world of trafficking and exploitation may feel so far from us in our church pews. The problem is, if we continue assuming that trafficking is something happening “out there,” […] we’ll never recognize it when it’s happening right under our noses.”
All of us, to some degree, go looking for love in the wrong places. All of us have our own insecurities and secret hopes. And all of us probably know what it’s like to stay in a relationship that wasn’t healthy because we wanted to feel loved and accepted. Researcher Dr. Maria Konnikova has years of experience profiling con artists. She writes:
“The confidence game is an exercise in trust, sympathy, and persuasion. The true con artist doesn’t force us to do anything. He doesn’t steal. We give. He doesn’t have to threaten us. We supply the story ourselves. We believe because we want to, not because anyone made us…The con artist will find those things where your belief is unshakable and will build on that foundation to subtly change the world around you.” Davidson sums it up this way: “By the time things begin to look bad, we tend to be so heavily invested emotionally, and often physically, that we talk ourselves out of getting out.”
The world of trafficking and exploitation may feel so far from us in our church pews. The problem is, if we continue assuming that trafficking is something happening “out there,” where there are ropes, chains and dark alleys, we’ll never recognize it when it’s happening right under our noses.
The Law of the World, or the Law of the Kingdom?
As followers of Christ, we believe Jesus came to turn the law of the world upside down. He came so that the “first shall be last,” and that in losing our lives we will find it. Yet how often in our churches do we follow the same message of getting ahead and being admired? How much are we drawn to the world’s vision of the “good life?” What would it look like to truly follow the upside down way?
We have the opportunity to change our communities not just by intervening to fix brokenness, but by pointing to a completely new way of living – the way of the Kingdom. If exploitation is happening because savvy people know how to exploit a vulnerable child’s need for acceptance and belonging, what is the Church’s answer? What is our answer?
Traffickers can recognize and exploit unmet needs in young people’s lives. It is up to us step upstream and beat them to it. We need to be a safe and committed presence youth can trust as they navigate the unique challenges of their lives. We can’t wait for someone else to do something about it. Every single one of us sitting in a church pew on Sunday has to decide- will we live by the law of the world, or of the Kingdom?
The choice is ours, but the results affect everyone.
For more information on Kimberly Davidson’s work and resources, click here.
By Jenna Funkhouser
