By Jenna Funkhouser
“Please, please can’t we just meet later?”This text message was sent by an Adorned in Grace Design Studio attendee to a volunteer mentor after learning that the studio would be cancelled that day.
“We have had to cancel our Sunnyside (Clackamas) group a few times lately because there are only two committed mentors and sometimes one of them is not able to be there,” says Rachel Murfitt, Design Studio Coordinator. “It is very sad to read the text thread among the mentors and girls. The girls will beg the mentors not to cancel.”
To some students, a cancelled extra-curricular event may not seem like a big deal. But for many of these girls and boys, the Design Studio is the highlight of their week. This weekly gathering aims to provide fun, relational mentoring to youth navigating incredibly difficult life circumstances.
“Especially now that it is summer, they really value having a safe fun place to go. We have older siblings coming with their younger siblings because they are bored at home,” says Rachel.
Although each attendee’s story is different, many of them love coming to the Design Studio because they lack safe, committed adults at home. From abuse, to foster care, to an unsafe boyfriend, there are many reasons home is not the place they find love, acceptance or belonging.
“The girls all go through emotionally difficult situations,” says Amber, a Design Studio mentor. “These girls are reaching out to us, saying ‘I don’t feel safe.’ These girls fully trust us as safe people to talk to, which is an amazing yet unexpected honor.”
Calling All Caring Adults
Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child released a study in 2015 saying, “Every child who winds up doing well has had at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult.” What’s amazing about this is that the adult doesn’t necessarily have to be a parent – it just has to be one supportive adult who is committed to that child long-term. As Josh Shipp, who grew up in foster care and later became a mentor advocate, says, “Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.”
“These girls are reaching out to us, saying ‘I don’t feel safe.’ These girls fully trust us as safe people to talk to, which is an amazing yet unexpected honor.”
The Adorned in Grace Design Studios were born out of this incredible opportunity for the Church to prevent exploitation by coming alongside vulnerable youth. Mentoring really matters. Studies show that young adults who face an opportunity gap but have a mentor are 55% more likely to be enrolled in college than those who did not have a mentor. (The Mentoring Effect, 2014). Youth who meet regularly with their mentors are 46% less likely than their peers to start using illegal drugs and 27% less likely to start drinking. (Public/Private Ventures study of Big Brothers Big Sisters)
Young Adults Who Were At-Risk for Falling Off Track But Had a Mentor Are:
55% more likely to enroll in college
78% more likely to volunteer regularly
90% are interested in becoming a mentor
130% more likely to hold leadership positions
Through the past 8 years, we have seen the incredible power of mentoring first-hand — from baptisms to identifying and avoiding trafficking situations to becoming first-generation college students. When we as the Church rise up to engage compassionately with our community, transformation happens.
But there is a window of opportunity. To put it bluntly, youth need mentors and they need them now.
“Studies show that young adults who face an opportunity gap but have a mentor are 55% more likely to be enrolled in college than those who did not have a mentor. Youth who meet regularly with their mentors are 46% less likely than their peers to start using illegal drugs and 27% less likely to start drinking.”
Take, for example, a teen attending the Design Studio who has a history of sexual abuse. ”It is obvious that she has a sweet and tender heart and that she really needs attention and love from a stable adult,” says Rachel. “But because we do not have enough mentors for the group, we are not able to give her the individual attention she clearly needs.”
“Last week we had 13 girls in our middle school group. Several of these girls come from homes filled with turmoil and it would be wonderful if the mentors could meet with them outside of group. But with so few mentors, this is difficult, since those we have are already stretched emotionally as it is.”
This is also what leads to the text messages the girls dread–telling them that the Studio is cancelled because one mentor can’t make it. With more mentors, not only would the Studio remain open even when someone is sick, but the opportunity to mentor students one-on-one would expand exponentially.
“I don’t want to scare anyone away by thinking that they would be responsible for one-on-one attention to troubled kids,” says Rachel with a smile. “What we really need is more support in general so that existing mentors could take time to provide the individual support.” Current mentors (who already have a trusted relationship built with girls who are struggling) want to be that one, caring adult they so desperately need. However, when they are stretched so thin, they are unable to fully give the students this quality attention.
The Window of Opportunity
You may be thinking, but what can I offer? There are also many practical ways ordinary people can use their skills at the Design Studio. When we spoke, Rachel mentioned, “there are many fun, wholesome summer activities we would love to do with the girls, but we simply do not have the necessary volunteers. I also think it would be great if we could offer more homework help to the girls. We have girls who are failing school. But that would require more mentors, as well.”
“I hesitated for a year because I didn’t think I was talented enough to be a mentor,” says Amber. “I didn’t have any great talents or an exciting life. I didn’t have the same history as these girls. But what I learned was that anyone can be a mentor to these girls if they have the heart to do so. Compassion [Connect] gave me the tools I needed.”
“I didn’t feel like the mentor type, being as shy as I was,” shared Tina, another long-time mentor, “After time, it became more and more natural. They’re drawn to that; being yourself. There’s always enough room for every kind of personality.”
“I hesitated for a year because I didn’t think I was talented enough to be a mentor,” says Amber. “I didn’t have any great talents or an exciting life. I didn’t have the same history as these girls. But what I learned was that anyone can be a mentor to these girls if they have the heart to do so. Compassion [Connect] gave me the tools I needed.”
Chaperoning fun events, providing basic tutoring help, teaching occasional classes in your area of expertise–the list of ways you can use your skills and passions could go on. At Compassion Connect, we believe God is calling people of faith to rise up and take compassionate action in their communities however he has equipped them.
Because the truth is, these girls and boys can’t wait for you to get around to mentoring a few years from now when you’re “more prepared” or “less busy.” This is their window of opportunity.
And it is also yours. Will you join us in ending the mentor crisis here in Portland?
Want to learn more about mentoring at Adorned in Grace Design Studios? Watch our video here!
To sign up to be a mentor or learn more, click here.
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